Dear Dorothy

I am officially a college freshman.  This past week, I moved into a dorm room for the first time.  In fact, this is the first time I’ve ever even moved.  I have lived in the same house for my entire life up until now.  And it still feels so surreal, because the college that I’m attending is only about ten minutes’ drive from my house, so I can easily go home any time I want to.  And yet, this week, I’ve felt like I’m thousands of miles away, living a completely different life.

Just to clarify, I haven’t actually started any classes yet.  My school has a week of orientation before classes begin.  All the freshmen moved in on Wednesday and have been kept extremely busy since then, attending lectures about how to be a good student, etc.; doing a service project; watching local and campus sports events; and spending time with the small groups we’ve been placed in.  So I know I can’t actually say a lot about the “college experience,” because I know that what I’ve been experiencing these several days is very unlike what I will experience through the rest of this year.  But that doesn’t mean that I can’t learn from it.

Dorm life is crazy different than home life, and in a lot of ways, that’s a hard thing.  Like Dorothy says in The Wizard of Oz, “There’s no place like home.”  I miss my family a lot.  I’m used to seeing them every day, talking with them, laughing with them.  I miss my mom’s hugs, and - if I’m honest with myself - her tendency to hover.  At least then I knew she was there, loving me and desiring to help me.  I also miss having my own bathroom, my soft, comfortable bed, and my bedroom.  At home, I have my own space, and when I am tired and feeling introverted, I can use that space to relax and recharge in solitude.  I miss having my own schedule.  Even during the school year last year, I felt free to follow my own schedule and make my own choices, and I was able to be more independent with my life.  This week has been nearly completely opposite.  I think the hardest thing of all, though, is none of that.  The hardest thing is that it’s nothing like I expected it to be.  And I know that it’s my own problem, because I developed my own expectations, but that doesn’t mean I can just make that shock disappear.  I had believed I would be, well, more free.  Instead I am under more control than I was when I lived at home.  And that’s a challenge to me.

There are also a lot of reasons that dorm life is very good.  I miss my family, but I am learning how to live without them.  I miss my mom, but I’m learning how to fend for myself.  It feels weird to have to share space with two other people in my dorm room, to share a bathroom with the twenty other girls on my floor - but it helps me remember that life doesn’t revolve around me.  Sharing space gives me a small taste of what married life will include, and it teaches me how to thrive even when I am not in my preferred environment.  I am being challenged to grow outside of what I am used to and learn how to adapt to a new set of circumstances.  Following the orientation schedule, waking and eating and going places at someone else’s command may feel frustrating and controlling, but it also humbles me.  It lets me know that I am not the greatest, smartest, or most authoritative person on campus.  It reminds me that there are people, rules, standards that I must respect, and they’re all in place for good reasons, even if I don’t see that right away.  And yet at the same time it gives me an opportunity to think independently and analyze what I really do support versus what I really do disagree with - not selfishly, but out of practicality and in some cases principle.

What it comes down to, so far, is that I have been given a great opportunity.  I may not like a lot of it right now, but I know that I need to step back and see the whole picture.  Doing so, I am able to respect the position I have been placed in.  I can see it as an opportunity to learn - how to be independent, how to be a leader, how to think critically, how to respect authority, and how to honor God in all of it.  That doesn’t mean I can’t work to improve the things that could be better; on the contrary, doing so would be a welcome challenge.  It also doesn’t mean I need to agree with everything that I am being subject to or told is true.  Instead I am able to listen and respect while developing and strengthening my own opinions and beliefs, and taking time to solidify what I know as Truth.  I would be hard-pressed to find a way to develop these skills and learn from these challenges sitting at home.  This is a change that is hard and sometimes frustrating, but also very, very good for me.

There is definitely still No Place Like Home.  I love the house and the circumstances that I consider home; my family and my comfort are there.  But I need to be taken away from that to learn and grow and be challenged - and even to appreciate it more when I come back.  If I had any advice to give to Dorothy in the midst of her dream-induced adventure (I don’t use that word lightly), it would be this:  There may be no place like home, but if every place was like home, you would never grow.  Enjoy the new.  Enjoy the unknown.